I was pouting of sorts last evening and not loving my enemy. I was not forgiving my enemy. I was pouring out self pity. In general there were things that were not going my way. I know that God is sovereign but I was not “feeling it”. You know the “love” of God who so loved the world. Nevertheless , in my conversation I mentioned Windsor Village and a member and I discussed pastors. Later on a waitress and I talked about her weakness in the Spirit and the ability of God to strengthen her. We both put on our whole armor. It took a good nights sleep and the Word of God to let me know that I was not putting first things first and that God was in control. I needed to let Him be in control. Namely God’s will should be put first and not the recognition of men. I also did have the sense enough to tell another musician “I will be playing in heaven so I will have plenty of time to improvise while I praise Him”
It is contingent upon Him in due time to exalt you according to Peter, but first you must humble yourself. Instead I was murmuring like a recently liberated Hebrew slave in the wilderness from the tribe of Dan “The dude(not mentioning names) who called the Red Cat the Dead Cat, why is he being interviewed and playing on stage and I was not? They promised me a job and I now look who is working. In less than a month I am told to report for a forced federal sabbatical after a botched job of defense and no representation of who I am. They are after my property”. In essence again, I was doubting the sovereignty of God almighty. Praise of His Grace was not on my lips except for the witnessing that He gave me an opportunity to do.
I have no idea of the souls that I will be a part of saving and participating in strengthening for the body of Christ. I am bitter and God is trying to make me better. I am asking for the power of God to deliver me from the accuser yet I have no idea and I am convicted of not being committed to the Body of Christ to be about Kingdom Building. I pray for more strength to overcome self. I am certainly no better than Simon the Sorcerer as Peter said
“ for I can see that you are full of bitterness and held captive by sin”
How can God deliver such a wretched man as me? If it were not for the Word to convict me, the blood to wash me clean, the Holy Spirit to empower me to understand the Word and to do it and last but not least the power of prayer in grace to the Father in the name of Jesus I would be gone.
Do not leave the Holy Spirit unemployed as I have for 50 years. Believe me the Lord can fight your battles. What does Simon say
“Pray to the Lord for me…”
and that is what I am and you should do and say during this Lenten Season. Pray to God for others and you in the name of Jesus asking the Holy Spirit to do His WORD.